The rabbit and the tiger

Once upon a time there was a rabbit and a tiger, who were travelling together. They went from mountain to mountain, from city to city and from country to country.

“What an odd combination we are” thought the rabbit. “A tiger and a rabbit travelling together? Where have you heard ever of something like this?”.

Both encountered many people from different backgrounds and experienced adventures they would speak years after about.

Their bond became stronger with every step they took in their journey. Their trust in each was unbreakable. Something special had formed between them. 

One day the rabbit finally decided to speak up and turned to the tiger, who was thoughtfully gazing at the fire whilst lying down.

“Tiger” it said. “I have something to ask you. Why have you chosen to travel with me, a rabbit, whereas you could have travelled with any other tiger you would have liked?”

The tiger gracefully stood up. Both were unaware of their beautiful surrounding; in the midst of the mountain with a fire to keep them warm enough, the stars on the sky giving them enough light to see more than shadows of each other.

“Well” speaking with a gentle tone, which could not hide the trust and caringness  the tiger felt for his companion, “are you not the only one, who sees herself as a rabbit?”

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Humans

balanceWe are humans.

Everyone reading this is a human being despite their exterior, beliefs and characteristics.

We eventually end up in the same place disregarding of any favourable or unfavourable treatment we have received during our life.

The person to your left has a mother and father and the person to your right has a mother and a father. These persons have people who care for them with the same feelings as other people have towards you.

You are no different than the person next to you. The person next to you is no different than you.

Your life should be as much worth as the persons you are walking, commuting, working and living with on this earth.

If you start to follow the mass then you are a dead fish. Why? Because only dead fish swim with the mass.

Have we not learnt from our history what happens if we follow someone directly or indirectly influencing is/ telling us what we should do and we all do it without having any doubt about it?

How many times have you read in the history books and heard from your grandparents about the past? Ah it was the past; therefore it does not count anymore. It CAN’T happen nowadays.

God gave us a great gift-OUR BRAIN! Don’t ignore this gift – USE IT!

It is a muscle, which needs to be trained.

Without training it, you will be eaten like the rest of the dead fishes.

Role’s

Johnny Cash sang in his song “Boy named sue” the following lyrics:  “And he said: “Son, this world is rough” And if a man’s gonna make it, he’s gotta be tough”

This song came out 1969 but the words are applicable as it has been back then. Though it is a different kind of toughness to what he is referring to when you continue to listen to that song.

Men’s role has never been as unidentified and chaotic as it has been in this generation. The expectancy is mixed so there is the confusion of the newly created men role to be left to define by themselves.

You know what happens in a group project and it is left to each individual to make their contributions without a defined role and defined timescales? All of us have gone at some point through it; it does come eventually together however more by luck and most of the time not resulting in great success. The second time around you can work on your mistakes. Not without a reason is the saying used “Practice makes perfect.”

Though having an identity to work on won’t be that easy to change. To fit into a role won’t be easy if the role does not fit to the character and to follow the expectations won’t be easy.
Women have the same problems of their new role but they seem to have literally pulled up their sleeves and seem to have focused on the similarities between the roles then and now; being the more emphatic one, the more emotional one and the take carer of the family in emotional needs. Then they have added the ingredients like work, family, ambition, independency and feminism.

Taking cake baking as an example: A woman bakes a cake with all the ingredients she has. Once finished mixing up all these ingredients and put into the oven she looks up with a confused look: “Ok, since I got all the ingredients to bake my cake, as big as I want, as colourful as I want, what is your role in this?”

Silence and intimidation followed it since he had never been asked this question before but had worried countless times about it. So, the women taking the proactive approach finished to bake the first cake completely by herself. The taste of the cake was a bit bland and there was no joy of the preparation. Something was missing but the missing ingredient was not known by either of them. Both confused; one became more and more confused and uncomfortable in the role, whereas the other more and more settling into the role and baking already the next cake.

After continuing it for a while they could not bear it and turned around to face each other and said simultaneously “Perhaps we can try to bake one together, to see how it will feel like to do it together?”
The first cake did not taste well, all the ingredients were too much; double the sugar, double the eggs, double the flour but they had fun and enjoyed the process. It hadn’t been easy. They had been interfering into their workplaces, taking each other’s personal spaces away, adding too much. Though it had not been the result expected, the feeling of ease and joy took over.
Both of them not wanting to give up started to work better together, since they got used to the habits and the pace of each other.

This time they both compromised, this time compromising on the ingredients and the works done but still trying to benefit themselves and not forgetting about each other. This time all was fun; the baking, the mixing and the eating. 

Oh well, when it works for a cake then why should it not work for other aspects did they think and continued happily ever after in their togetherness and taking comfort in the trust of each other to continue to find their identity/ role in this process.

We want more and more and more and more….

We want to be prettier, thinner, more attractive, more successful,
richer, increase our circle of friends, travel the world, buy a car, buy after that the newer model of the car, buy a phone, buy after that the newer phone, buy an apartment, buy a bigger one.

We are ambitious and wanting more. Working towards more.

All this goals, all this ambition focused on achieving our longing for happiness.
Having reached this goal, we become happy.
Happy – such a simple word. Happy and satisfied with the world, with us, with our surroundings…
The lasting happiness.. The question about “How long happiness lasts?” is discussed within the below link basically stating that happiness is not a constant trait:

http://news.softpedia.com/news/How-Long-Happiness-Last-49129.shtml

Once we reached our goal(s); the hard worked and awaited promotion, the amazing car, the house, the swimming pool, the person we have wanted to win over/ be together with for so long. Do we then achieve the long awaited happy feeling? The overall satisfaction, which will keep us on cloud nine forever. The feeling of forever happiness?
A couple of years ago, one of our top managers around 40ish joined a casual meeting. He was known for his ambition and for his dedication to work. Whilst speaking about families started he said: “My biggest regret in life is neglecting my family.” Soon after this impromptu personal talk, we found out that he was getting divorced and that he spoke rarely with his children. Two years down the line, I met the same promising manager and he had worked his way up and had become a well known and powerful manager within the company. However, his personal situation had not changedI congratulated him and asked about his family. His eyes saddened deeply for a moment but he recovered quickly as the true professional he is. I walked away thinking “I hope it was worth it”.

The scene of the lady looking out of the window is a touching one.
We look out of the window from our home, which we have created. Do you still remember the joy when you bought the apartment? The joy of decorating it, fixing the balcony, putting in new doors, buying the huge tv, which is in your living room, buying this very expensive carpet to get a sense of luxury? Do you still remember it or have you turned your back literally and physically already towards the things, which you have already achieved? Why don’t you get the same satisfaction out of it as you used to once upon a time?

Surely, you will reach the ultimate happiness once you get an even better promotion. Or towards the partner you have been hoping for a long time? Or the great apartment and the car? Perhaps when you finally have a child to take care? Or once you have on your list more than 5 countries you have visited? More than 300 friends on facebook? More than 50 messages for your birthday? Why not everything at the same time to ensure that your happiness will not be affected at the least when you do not achieve all these.

Surely, you will reach happiness once you have fulfilled all of these. Surely, this time the feeling will last a life time.

Selection criteria – Looks

Selection criteria – Looks

Too many times has the criteria for choosing a partner been discussed, written about, seen and heard of.

It varies from similar characteristics, or not, similar hobbies or not, to similar physical attributes or not and so forth. All these findings have usually Loyalty and Love as a common factor.

But we all know the truth: All these factors are overrated and the only criteria, which matter is: Looks! And by that I obviously mean Good Looks. Average beauty equals average happiness. The better looking the happier we are.

There are many advantages of having this profound selection criteria as described below:

Healthier

First, if you choose the best looking one then you will need to keep yourself fit since you want to be as appealing to your partner as possible. Due to that, you will also start to eat healthier, do regular exercises and visit more often the beautician. At the end since better looks equal to more happiness all others will want to have a good looking partner. So, the competition is fierce. This brings us to our next point.

Competition Awareness

As said the competition is fierce, which means that the likelihood of you wearing prettier clothes and present yourself in the best way possible will be higher. Furthermore, since the demand is high and the supply is limited you will need to be ready for fighting for your partner. This will keep you in good shape and might even make you lose weight.

Increased Joy

Imagine having the best looking person as your partner. Waking up next to him will make you already happy. Like looking at a very nicely presented piece of cake or well prepared dinner plate. You enjoy these moments.

Less distraction

A good looking partner helps you to focus better. Whilst having dinners rather than rudely checking your phone every 5 minutes for notifications you will have to focus fully on the beauty next to you due to several reasons.

Increase of Productivity

When your partner is out especially at night or at the weekend you will be so worried that you won’t be able to sleep. You know how high the demand is and you have not chosen your partner due to his loyalty and faithfulness. This lack of sleep can be transformed into something useful; tidying up or sorting out the papers or being prepared for the next day. This will increase your productiveness.

Selective topics

Now the talking part will be reduced as well, which will make it for you as well possible to make more space for other activities. Your partner will not be bothered about listening to your day to day problems at the office. You can tell these tales to your less good looking friends. At the end, you choose this partner not for his caring characteristics and listening skills.

Improvement of body language

When you present your partner in public to your friends or walk around town and strangers see you with him you will feel the pride of the possession, which will make you walk straighter and therefore improve your stance. This might improve as well your work life. Imagine going into a meeting head high with the knowledge that this beautiful looking human being is waiting for you.

Sharpening the awareness of your surroundings

These experience will increase your awareness of your surrounding in an unbelievable way. You will more conscious about the females around you. You will be careful about the babysitters you hire or his possible secretaries and even your own female friends. Through that like a chess player you will start to make moves before the actual moves is being done.

Strategic thinking development

As mentioned before you will start to think ahead before events will happen. Tables in a restaurant will be chosen with great care. Better not to display too much of your “treasure” unless you want to increase your pride as mentioned below. The continues staring from the fellow competitors might annoy you and your partner might get distracted. Parties from too wild persons will be avoided or you will be able to come early and leave early before anything even remotely negative can happen. This continues throughout many examples e.g. plane seats, cinema, bus, car and etc. This effective thinking process might even increase your IQ.

Setting priorities

Your worry about other daily things like missing the train, someone stealing your parking space, self created sickenesses or being on time to a meetup with friends will become less since your mind will be fully occupied with your partner and his whereabout and do about.

As described at the above points, choosing your partner solely based on good lucks is the only valuable criteria and will have only good impacts on your life. It will increase your health life, make you aware of your surroundings and might in the best case scenario increase your IQ and EQ.

Because do not forget that the more handsome your partner is the more happiness he will bring to your life..

Memories

I saw it, you saw it and they saw it – but what exactly did we see though?

Did we see what we were supposed to see or did we see something what we were supposed to not see?

But then…how can you forget something, which you saw once?

Isn’t it comparable to a memory that floats back into your mind when a certain moment occurs?

  • Hearing the song to which you were once upon a time getting ready to go out with your best friend. The feeling of excitement, the laughters – the happy moments you shared together
  • Walking on a certain square or street and being reminded of the person you were once walking along that street and remembering the conversations you had
  • Seeing a certain movie and remembering, which brings you back to the memories of that time period of your life.

Ah memories – they serve you so well and the hunt you so well.

The memories you want to cherish, the once you want to forget and the once you want to ignore.

What would you be without the memories?

Would you be an entirely different person or someone close enough to the person you are today?

Are you then not yourself “just” a memory? And if so, would you want to be forgotten?

What do I see, you see and they see when looking at you?

Being independent

What is actually the meaning or measurement of being independent? Nowadays many people live alone, so are they called independent?

Can a person changing tires be called independent or choosing from the menu be called independent?

I was speaking the other day with a friend, who was in the process of organising her trip to Italy. I told her that the hotel she had organised provided for a free shuttle from the airport to the hotel, however she said “I am not anymore that independent. I prefer the easy way of taking the taxi straight to the hotel.”

For a moment I stopped. It surprised me that the act of arriving at an airport, trying to find in an unfamiliar environment the bus station and accordingly the right bus to the correct hotel would lead to an independent act.

For many frequent travellers this above described short process is seen as very normal and even quite simple. As many know usually not only one mode of transportation is required to be taken in order to reach the desired destination.

However, it is true that trying to figure out the right place from where to take the bus, buying the tickets, renting a car and all the other countless things, which need to be figured at in an unfamiliar area are not the most pleasant thing to do.

The second time around it gets easier: Why are the second times always so much easier??

I personally thought the independency starts actually at a different level like assembling the own cupboard, paying for all the utility bills, setting up the own business and so on. It was quite an eye opener to see that even such actions and decisions classify I dependency, which would mean that many people have become independent without being completely aware of it.

Once in awhile, we should all look back and recognise and appreciate what we have actually achieved; the hurdles, which have been taken, the decisions we have made (good, bad, easy or difficult), the path we have chosen in our life’s including the times we have changed these paths and the countless independent acts we had to show, act on and display in order to get to the point we are at the moment.

Continue being independent but remember that depending on others can be rewarding too.

At least, once in awhile.