First Dates 101

The exciting moment before the first date; Both of you are getting ready, two different personalities will meet up and (hopefully) enjoy the date.

After the date you start to ask yourself: Was it good? Did you enjoy it? How much compatibility or attraction did you feel?

Before starting it is important to remember that this day or night date is exciting and nerve racking for both parties. Things, which one of the two involved would usually not do can occur here so the first date should not be judged immediately as a deal breaker.

However, there are some minor and major points men display during the dates, which can give away more about the character of the person without any words exchanged as described below.

1: Exterior

We, human beings, are fast judges. Within the first 7 seconds the other person is judged and the first impressions are made.

Scenario A: He is dressed with a cape and smoggy pants. Are you more the elegant type or like that style? Can you like to walk next to a Hip Hop impersonation for the rest of your dating life with him?

Reaction to Scenario A: You like hip hop people and would like to dress up in that way but thought that would not suit you and it does not bother you at all or it bothers you.

Scenario B: it could be the opposite and your date has appeared in a smoking or a suit at the meeting point.

Reaction to Scenario B: The elegant clothing might actually tempt you to dress more elegant but you never had the friends around, who like dressing up and your closet is full of really nice dresses? Or does it bother you?

Action: Let’s remember it is the 1st date. This style might be not the usual style. You can go to the next date and see if it has changed. If that is not the case then you need to judge for yourself whether the clothing issue bothers you or if you get adjusted to the situation. This should be not a deal breaker. See Robert Pattison, who shows up to events with greasy hair and is still admired by many women.

Point 2: Greeting

Are you greeted with a kiss on the cheeks, a handshake a hug?

Scenario A: You are greeted with a kiss on your first date.

Reaction to Scenario A: If you are uncomfortable with kisses on the cheeks on your 1st date you can easily turn it into a hug. It will follow the uncomfortable moment for a 1-2 minutes but it should pass quickly. It is the first date. Both of you are on your best behaviour display. Both laugh it off and the other person remembers it for next time.

Scenario B: You receive a handshake as a greeting.

Reaction to Scenario B: There are many books about handshakes and how to determine by the firmness of the handshake a small proportion of his character but at the end of the day; Is this the beginning of a business meeting? Are you a warm person, who would have preferred a hug actually?

Action: Some people do not feel comfortable with an immediate intimate moment of a hug. See until the evening or next date if the colder person does not warm up to your liking. If you are a touchy feely person he might not be the right one to continue on dating when he does not warm up.

Point 3: Location

The location is quite important for the date. Is it a quite place, crowded, down to earth, elegant? One tip; Let him choose the date location. Make sure that you tell the approx. location of your house.

Scenario: So, he chooses a place, which is an hour drive from yours and he knows that you do not have a car or that place is difficult to reach for you?

Reaction to Scenario : You can either go ahead with it and think positive that he chose that place because there is this amazing restaurant, which he wants you to see or you start to display your dominant attribute and ask for another meeting point, which is closer to your place. Possibility: You find out that the place is not that great and he chose it because it is 5 minutes to his home.

Action: Are you sure you want to continue on dating such an self centred person? If you are a masochist continue. Although it seems like a small thing “Oh he chose just randomly a place, which was by coincidence close to his place?” No. Just no. He knew what he was doing and if he did not was not considerate enough to use his brain, sorry, you can try but you will lose this game against self centred people. You don’t teach an old dog new tricks.

Point 4: Pace

If you haven’t been to that place or even if you have been I would suggest to meet up beforehand at some point to walk together to the desired dating place.

Scenario: Usually ladies wear heels to dates, so naturally men need to slow down there tempo in order to fit in. Ideally! He is walking so fast that you have difficulties in following him with heels? Is he training for the marathon and wants you to participate in it with you together? Are you going to miss the plane? Both of them are answered with no?

Reaction to Scenario : Either walk slower and hope that he will slow down or tell him to slow down. Another option is to try to adjust to his speed considering.

Action: If he slows down; great. If not, please read the part about self centred person. Do you seriously expect that kind of person, who will not even adjust his pace to yours look after you if you were sick or did not feel good one day? An egoist will stay and egoist at heart.