Time – if not this time we can do it next time

Time…what a strange term.

People say “We still have time“. But do we? Is a person who is saying “I am a time millionaire” richer than a person who is a millionaire due to the money terms?”

Recently a beloved work colleague in his 40s has passed away. We used to work together in UK, drink tea together and traveled once on a business trip together. On top of being a friendly, beloved and modest person I personally appreciated that once he became an important manager that his personality remained the same without any sign of arrogance.

During a business meeting he collapsed and was brought to the nearest hospital. Upon hearing this news I contacted him if he needed anything since it happened out of UK. He was kind in answering back that he was hoping to be released. After that as we all do-it- Life itself kept me busy. Filled with mainly work, family and friends- the wheel of life was carrying on. Once in awhile I was asking about his well being and heard that cancer was detected but that the treatment had started. Sometimes I was thinking “oh I should write him“. Also I heard although that he was in the hospital or at home that he answered the e-mails.

2017 was over and we all celebrated New Year Eve with new resolutions for 2018.

Some celebrated with their families and/or friends other planned perhaps something special. Others got proposed to and whilst looking at the fireworks with a glass of bubble in our hands we looked up to the sky with a smile on our lips.

Upon returning back to work a friend of this colleague announced that our beloved colleagues had passed by during New Year Eve.

Sometimes it can be too late to do certain actions. Sometimes cancelling a meet up with a friend, not visiting the family, not going to a wedding, not attending a baby shower or not writing back, not contacting someone who is on your mind could be the last time you will have a chance to do it and regret will be left behind.

Time is precious and we do not have as much left of it as what we think.

Do things rather than wait for the right timing.

This right timing is now!

The ride

They were riding on their bicycles side by side since quite awhile. She started to not recognize the streets anymore. Out of nowhere her fellow rider kicked into the bicycle so that she hit the wall hard and her bicycle fell with a loud sound on the floor. She immediately felt her back pain and by the time she had recovered to look she saw only the back wheels of the person, who had done this to her. They had known each other for awhile and it came unexpected to her. 

With some pain she got up and recognised that she was in an isolated place. There were no people on the road. At daylight, with no person to help, all by herself, she started to walk in a crunched way. Painfully slow she took a step after step. The road would have been short perhaps under different conditions. She might have enjoyed the warmth of the sun, the sound of the birds and the slight wind.

However, today she barely recognized her surrounding. Her sole aim was to find a phone and call some help. At that time, she cursed her habit to not take her phone with her whilst being on the ride. She cursed removing regularly her credit cards from her purse and leave them at home so that in case of rubbery it would not be a big loss. Finally, she saw an internet shop. Her heart was beating faster and she moved faster towards it but the sudden pain bought tears into her eyes. Determined not to give up she bit her teeth and continued whilst her face was covered with sweat. So was her body. She finally reached the door and she her lips were curving upwards to a grin and froze in the midst. The hanging sign in front of the door with bright dark blue colours read “CLOSED”…[to be continued] 
 

The red car

Whilst a red car- I – was driving on a long long way I saw the same coloured car with the same module just in front of me. It was faith I thought. It felt like I had found my soul partner and just in front of me! 

So I started singing: We belong together

Out of nowhere my soul partner changed lanes and took over. Now felt a bit heartbroken and thought it is normal that two develop at different speeds. Through time our desires, interests, lifestyles and even thoughts change. So, I was motivated like never before to recover the distance but recognized that a white car had pushed itself in front of me so the song became

Red, white, red. Red, white, red. So close but so far it seems. 

Nevertheless, I could see the red car and determined to catch up I overtook obstacles to reach it. To shorten the distance to my soul partner. A white car would not stop me; especially it if it was to reach my one and only. But then a truck was between us. So the song continued

Red, white, truck, red. Red, white truck, red.

Not being able to see my red car did not change my desire to catch up and get at the same level. Through a long time I worked on myself and tried to match up with the red car. I made some risky moves and some less risky once. Throughout the process, I found myself and but was still driven by my “old desires”. There was something I had found, which was irreplaceable-peace with myself. Not being fully aware of the consequence of this found treasure I continued on my way. Surprisingly, somehow I managed to overtake the white car and soon afterwards the truck as well. My heart was pounding out of excitement. Soon it would be 

Red and red reunited again.

So, I overtook them with immense pleasure and excitement. I did not take notice that I had not been able to see for a long time the red car. It was not an important factor because I knew that we belonged together. I did not question why the red car had not paced itself to match my speed so that we could be together going through the same journey and develop ourselves. These were not important factors and I chose  to ignore it.

I finally reached the end or beginning and was in front of the white car and truck.There was no red car anymore… All my expectations, desires, hard work, which I had reflected on this one red car were vanished as if they had never existed. But I knew that they had existed. So I sang to myself

Mirror mirror on the road, show a reflection of myself. 

I used to be red car with a specific brand. However,  I was not anymore a red car but a red and white coloured one and in the mirror I did not see only myself…I saw another red and white next to me, who was driving since awhile next to me. Perhaps, the start of the journey was for both of us due to different reasons, perhaps the experiences we had made during our journeys were completely different and shaped us in different ways. However, we had been driving side by side for awhile and appreciating ourselves existence but had never laid eyes as we did now. So, we continued driving side by side but this time fully acknowledging our presence and we song united: 

Side by side we drive along. Side by side we experience together.

“It’s not time that changes man nor knowledge the only thing that can change someone’s mind is love.”

One ordinary day

There was this movie about the ability of the men within this family to go back in time.

It was passed at a certain age to the male however if he should have ever two children then the ability would be lost.

So, you can imagine the situations, which benefit from such kind of ability. 

At one scene he went to a blind dinner. You know where they bring you to a complete dark room and you are not able to see what you are eating and the people with whom you are sharing the dinner. In this way you have to rely on your other senses such as tasting and hearing.

At this event he met his dream girl but missed the chance due to different circumstances to be her boyfriend. He re-winded it many times until the scenery was that he was with her together. 

Also different conversations, events like a car crash could be avoided through this ability.

At some point his dad, an experienced time traveler, gave him an advice.

Is anyone else a big fan of these conversations between the wise person and the beginner? In this case father and son.

The father gave him the advice: “Live one day without using your ability. Just live one ordinary life.”

So, the next day the son experienced for the first time since he had had his gift a normal day. The situations he would usually have improved through his ability staid the same.

At Starbucks the coffee was spilled on him, it started raining and he had forgotten his umbrella. He rushed from one place to another. At work he had to go through the day without re-winding it. He came back miserable and tired back home.

His dad asked him: ” How was your day?“. He answered “Miserable.” His dad responded: ” Tomorrow I want you to repeat the same day, today, and this time go through it consciously.”

He did as he was told re-did the same day without using his abilities. However, this time he woke up earlier, recognised and responded friendly to the cashier’s joke at Starbucks, helped out a collegou at work and recognised at the evening whilst looking up the beautiful colours of the sky.

It was a different day but also the same day.

The only important factor was that he lived the day with a different attitude and went through it consciously rather than taking small events and gestures as granted or not even recognising it.

Small gestures are not small. They speak volumes for the once who choose to hear them.

The Destroyer

The destroyer is known as a strategic and clever hunter. It hunts alone, since it is strong enough by itself. It does not need the group pack effect. The destroyer specializes in finding out weak points and making its move at the right moment in order to have the most effective impact. The explosion is the aim of the destroyer and from which it derives its full satisfaction.

What does it destroy? It destroys relationships between families, friends, couples, colleagues and acquaintances.

So, does it mean that the smart people, who can read people well and are clever as well, are able to avoid an attack or a manipulative move from the destroyer? No, no mon Cheri. Exactly, this characteristic will make it a worthwhile hunt. Some species of the destroyer enjoy the easy hunt but the majority likes the challenge of trying to break a smart one, who thinks that this could never happen to them. It is a bit like going into a high class restaurant or eating at a fast food chain. This creature does not want to have a fast McChicken but it wants to taste the one, which is not easily available and easy to get a bit off.

It will find in some way to connect to the target person. Since it is used to working alone, it has learnt to perfectly blend in with the environment. It creates a relaxed atmosphere and will find a way to make the target person talk. But it is not only looking for the words, which come out of the target’s mouth. It watches from close by and from the distant. It analyses the moves, the gestures and interprets them correctly and gets a “good read”. That is the real danger since it will only stop looking when it has found the perfect weak point. The weak point, which the destroyer will target eventually and will gain from it the full satisfaction, which is its whole aim.

It can be anything from the slightly too frequent glances of the boyfriend to his girlfriend, whilst she speaks with another male. It could be the certain tone used to another family member. It could be the hidden jealous look of one friend to another. It could be the way that a certain person does not look into the mirror whilst passing. It could be a less obvious move like fiddling with certain jewellery. Be assured that the destroyer will not miss a beat of this happening. Every little detail will be taken into the scale and will be tested on how effective as a hurting point it could be.

Eventually after the analysis it will make its extremely well calculated move. It will throw in a casual sentence to the boyfriend nervously looking from far away to his girlfriend “Oh, you two don’t look like a couple at all.” Then the destroyer will take a step back because it has accomplished what it wanted; putting a bad seed into a persons mind. Oh yes, it works says the cruel eye of the creature called destroyer. Then it watches to see how its creation will work out. The boyfriend stamps to this girlfriend and a huge argument erupts. The destroyer is satisfied and leaves. The same man, referred to as boyfriend, might remember days, months, years afterwards that moment but will not be able to detect, where that person disappeared to. It will remain to him a mystery on how a complete stranger or even a friend had worked him up so much that he had reacted so explosive and had all this bad thoughts in his head.

The destroyer although an alone hunter does have friends. However, these people should take a “How to identify good friends 101 class”. These friends are either not aware of the characteristics of that person or are naively lulled in the security that the destroyer would not do its “game” with them. That is wrong. Eventually the destroyer will need a McChicken and the easiest target will be the one closest by, which the destroyer has the most knowledge about.

The destroyer is not easily to identify unless it has happened to you before and you are more cautious about people, who are influencing you. It comes in different shapes and sizes, different characteristics but eventually it will show its face. The manipulations are not easy to track or identify either. It could range from a shrug, a certain look, a casual but well placed remark or a very direct comment masked within a joke. The examples continue since it will fit to the person it is targeting. It will use the best way to play you and keep hidden as long as it can.

Don’t be played against the destroyer! The name is whispered in frightened tones of the once experienced the horrific impacts. Be patient and don’t add yourself as a further number to its enormous amount of victims left behind. At the end the destroyer will do to itself what it is best at; to destroy!

Where does “I hate Mondays” come from?

“I hate Mondays”.
Like its brother and sister it has as well six letters; Friday and Sunday. But you don’t hear this statement about either of those two days.

Actually, would Monday be on a dating site it would get matched up with Sunday. They have more than 50% similarities. (nday). The promoting sentence could be “During the day it goes through different stages of feelings. It enjoys occasional days to relax and have a slow start. Why don’t you have a slow start together?”

Of course, there are some businesses who profit from promoting one of the other brothers and sisters. TGIF– Thanks God it is Friday. What a celebrated day the Friday is. In a family Friday would be the most liked and most spoilt and Monday the ignored and doing all the work in the family. “Monday, start washing the dishes whilst we play cards with each other. You would just spoil the joy of the rest of us.” How cruel the others would be towards Monday..

What did the Monday do to deserve this kind of treatment?

Are all the new beginnings treated equally? The beginning of months are liked. Birthdays are seen as something to celebrate. A New Year symbolises the beginning of a complete new start. Everyone is planning on how to improve themselves, what they want to achieve in this New Year. So, what is so different about a new start of the week? With a Monday you don’t associate a new start… It is the beginning of the week…Brrrr..

Also in the Middle East it is common to have the week start on a Sunday. So Friday and Saturday are the weekends. I haven’t heard the phrase “I hate Sundays”, the matching day to Monday.

Let’s analyse the other sisters and brothers; Tuesday is seen as close enough to mid week and Wednesday is mid week leaning towards the weekend. Thursday gets a bit of the popularity from Friday and is seen as a popular day as well. A bit like when the cool kid hangs with his friend and the friend gets a piece of the popularity for himself. At the end, if you can take off Friday then Thursday will becomes the new Friday. Saturday is seen as the weekend. The day everyone was looking so much forward through.

Somehow there it is Monday. What a sad day.. If it would be a human being it would be the kid, who gets chosen last at sport activities for teams. A bit like Kevin left at home alone. The forgotten one although it has an impact on our mood.

Ah Monday how can we change the way you are perceived?

Analysing love stories and movies

I read once a lovely romantic book, which was filled with adventures and mainly a love story obviously. After the two main characters finally reached a happy end the writer finished it with some sentences of describing how their current life was going on; “She eventually had to learn that he always got what he wanted and was very demanding about it. They went out frequently for walks”

Wait! What?? What happened there? Was I not reading a romantic story? The whole book was written in a light way and suddenly one sentence made me re-think the whole story. What does that sentence mean? Was he not happy when he did not get his tea on time and started shouting? Or was he not treating her well? What was the point of writing this sentence and not giving even an explanation of what it means?

I read another book, which was from Nora Roberts, one of my favourite writers. It was a very romantic book as well. So, the two main characters were in love but he did not want to share his own place with her and they eventually argued because she had borrowed his second key from someone else, whilst she prepared a surprise lunch/ dinner for him. They break up and soon afterwards he proposes to her and everybody is happy again.

Ok…So what happened? Did he recognize that he is fine with sharing his place with someone else? How was this problem solved? If I don’t like sharing food, this will not magically disappear and make me want to share my food.

I attempted to even watch Twilight. I tried it three times. I didn’t want to be one of the people, who dislike something without even having tried it. Try it and then say your opinion rather than dismissing it instantly. First time I watched it I was quite happy because I thought finally a movie where a disabled person has the main role (Kristen Stewart). Then I was told that it was her character in the movie…Anyways, the third time around, I watched one of the Twilight movies. It was the part where her Vampire Boyfriend had left her and she was totally heartbroken and did not leave the apartment, didn’t go to school and was having nightmares whilst the seasons were changing.

What kind of message does that communicate? If somebody hurts your feelings you completely let go and that is fine??? You can play the victim and everyone will pity you?? Should the message not be: Try to be strong and woman up?!

There are some no brainer movies/ series and books but most of them are fortunately not like that and have a hidden message. The message should be NOT : It is ok that the man is too demanding or it is ok to look at the bigger picture and ignore anything unpleasant because it will dissolve itself or even that you can let yourself completely go because your feelings are hurt. This is not the time to display women as subordinate and weak creatures. We are strong so communicate that message instead.

The roles between man and woman (yes, I feel confident enough put in this sentence “man” first) have developed. It is not anymore the traditional role of: hunter (man) and collector (woman).

Women have to support themselves as men have to do as well. The single woman with children or without children has to rely on herself heavily. There is no man, who is doing the heavy lifting or small things like removing a spider. Also men have developed from their role and there are plenty of men who take care of their children out there or an elderly person. Also, men who live alone or with their partner have to cook, clean etc. So, now that the genders cannot be put into neat little boxes the dating scenario has changed as well.

That is most likely why there are difficulties with dating and that so many are single nowadays. The older generation has still the nice and neat places for the genders and the younger generation has adjusted quickly but the current generation is struggling with its role and relationships.

Although, things are developing in a more complex ways, it is nice to see that both genders are capable to do tasks, which were subjected (more or less) to one or the other gender. That should actually help rather than create confusion in understanding each other. It should create appreciation for each other.

When people would just concentrate on understanding and learning from each other rather than looking at the differences the world would be a happier and less lonely place.